Self. "Juul Pods."

Madison Self.
“Juul Pods.”

Dedicated to C. E. Byrd High School

Well, there’s rape and murder in the streets This city’s in disharmony I can’t wear white t-shirts cuz They say it could bring harm to me I can’t walk outside alone If it’s dark or no one’s home Surely there are people paid To ensure my safety…?

But their biggest concern seems to be… Juul pods Yes their biggest concern seems to be Juul pods They’re not worried about the guy Who murdered a group of five Cuz there’s a skinny white girl somewhere Probably with heat damaged hair And she’s like 14, the biggest drama queen And she’s got juul pods

The news has shootings every night And children must all live in fright Cuz lockdowns are the regular Why won’t they answer our plight? This city’s ranked so high in crime And our police are on our dime To catch the bad guys hurting us So we can have peace half the time

But they need to watch the highschool bathroom’s The city pays them to watch highschool bathrooms Don’t you worry about the thief Cuz teen vapers cause the real grief And they puff it in the highschool bathrooms Maybe there is marijuana too There’s real criminals walking the streets But some kid out there has some green And he’s smoking in the highschool bathroom

There’s a kid at school with cigs So screw the guy who killed some kids Cuz they’re not the real criminals At least according to the pigs Murder’s up 72% and We’re the 8th most dangerous and Our safe index is 3% but At least they caught that teen with gin

They’re still worried about some weed And young adults with nicotine When our city’s so dangerous that It’s scary to be out past ten The police don’t even seemed trained They think the blue force is a game And hunt down teens for smoking pot Instead of the violent gangs So if you want to stay out of trouble

Don’t be a kid with juul pods Dear God, don’t be a kid with juul pods Because they’ll bring the dogs and bring the cuffs For some scrawny kid caught with snuff They’re searching the school for juul pods Walk the street at peak crime times Wear gang merch, you’ll be just fine Cause they’re wasting time on kids with juul pods.

Text prepared by:

Bruce R. Magee

Source

Self, Madison, director. Satire Assignment (Plz Give Me a Good Grade Bc This Felt so Awkward Thanks). YouTube, 2 March 2021, https:// www. youtube. com/ watch?v= uDc3mpLHcBc. Accessed 14 May 2022.

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